I’m not happy with my life, 23(m) Virgin. Friendzoned again.

I've still never had a girlfriend or had sex, and its killing me inside.

I've just pretty much had to break off things with a girl that I really really liked, been talking to her since march, met through dating app we been on only 2 dates. But because of quarantine not been able to meet much We have talked every day for like 4 months, we had such a great chemistry, had loads of video calls for hours, made playlists, and plans for after lockdown. She always initiated conversation and after our dates, saying how good of a time she had etxx.She has complimented me on almost everything physically, and has said how she looks forward for me to be able to cuddle her after lockdown etc. Shes views and likes all my social media posts. So her attraction I believe has always been high towards me. And she said she was looking for a relationship long term.

She did say she takes relationships really slowly. But I thought with things easing off it would get better, but she said in a week shed be going to a holiday home for 2 months which is only 2 hours away, she even said I could come down for a day or something. So all good, then today I asked if she wanted to meet in a walk before when she goes and agreed to that .

So then, she says she should mention, that she wants us to go as friends, because she will be away for 2 months. I have no idea why. But she said she doesnt want to focus on dating over the summer whilst shes gone, and still wants to talk to me. I said we are both looking at different things, and although I like her, if she changes her mind, I will listen to what she says. But yeah convo finished and I'm guessing that contact over and done with unless she happens to message me

So basically it's over, before we could ever even start properly. I want to ask why, but she said it, she doesnt want me for whatever reason like that now. So I'm going to try to move on

My issue is that I just cannot get a girlfriend. This is the 3rd time in a row similar situation. The thing what really upsets me, is I'm actually very confident now in my self, I get told I am very good looking, tall, dark, play multiple sports and hobbies, and I've a lot of friends. And yet despite all the the things I have going on for me. I can't even get a girlfriend or even have sex, which my friends are all moving in with their girls now.

I've suffered depression before and my mental health is really suffering from this. Dont even know what I'm asking people reading this for. This girl meant so much to me, and the evidence showed me enough that I meant a deal to her too. 4 months of talking through lockdown all for pretty much nothing now.

I'm just really not happy with all of this, I dont let people sense my depression because I know it would turn people away, but I cant keep it inside for that much longer.

I just want to believe that surely I've got to find a girl that likes me just as much as I like her