Is it a lost cause?

Hi all,

Hoping to recieve some advice on a particular situation. I (29M) met a girl (30f) through a dating app and really hit it off. Went on a handful of dates and everything was great. Met some of her friends and they seemingly liked me and really fit with her group. Her friend told me how excited she was to have met me and that she hasn’t been happier. I was super happy to hear it and was looking to see things grow as I wanted to organically develop a long term thing with her.

Right when the quarantine hit though, things got weird on her end. Lack of response and what seemed like interest. Things didn’t feel the same. I asked if everything was fine and she said they were. I trusted her and left it alone. A few more weeks go by and it’s was the same thing. I felt that she lost interest and wasn’t engaging in conversation as much. She “ghosted” me for a week and I eventually reached out again figuring she needed space and she apologized and said she missed talking to me and missed me alot. I got over it and after talking I felt OK about everything. I really liked her and decided I did want to continue persuing something with her. The next few days were back to normal but she slowly went back to showing a lack of interest in any sort of conversation. I We would agree to quarantine plans like watching a movie or facetiming but nothing ever happened.

The issue wasn’t really the length of time for her to respond, but I felt that she would just respond to me just to respond and not actually contribute to conversation or reflect any interest. I felt ignored and thats when the confusion hit, as things were great at first and then she openly admitted she missed me the first time things got weird.

After a few more weeks, I got really fed up with feeling dragged along so I told her I needed to back off a bit. She agreed and said she has alot going on with quarantine (work, class, family, etc.) and she needed to focus on herseld but reiterated that she does like me and cares about me. I told her to just worry about herself for now and wished her the best. I texted and called about 2 weeks later to just check up and nothing. No response at all and no call back from the voicemail I left.

It’s been almost 3 months since I last reached out. We removed eachother from social media (i removed her from instagram). Should I reach out again given the time away or should I just leave it? It drives me crazy that I keep thinking about her and I still very much have feelings for her. I figured if she wanted to talk to me, she’d reach out but she also mentioned the last time we didnt speak that she feels awkward reaching out after not talking after some time. I took that as a lack of confidence thing. Not sure if shes feeling the same way this time around.

I’m so confused on how to approach this. I’ve never been this way with any prior relationships (which some were very long term) but she just makes me feel different. I always felt something special with her and she makes me want to better myself. Even with not talking, I have coped by getting in the best shape I’ve been in in years and at first it was to better myself for her but now its for me. She weirdly still gives me that push. Weird, I know, but this is all foreign to me so figured I’d share.

Sorry for the long read. Thanks for your help!