Is it normal to be afraid of sex and relationships?

I’m M18. I’ve been in some very short lived relationships and dating attempts. I’ve been handed a lot of opportunities to date and mostly I end up blowing them. I always thought that there was something wrong with my approach to dates and flirting in general. I do believe that is the case, simply put… I’m afraid. In the moment I didn’t really put much thought into it, but after pondering about relationships and how I’ve reacted to certain situations, I’ve come to realize that I’m fucking terrified of relationships, of sex even.

I’m a loner, I’ve always been a loner. I like flags and maps and countries and overall very nerdy things. I’m very socially awkward. I’ve come to terms with that, I like who I am. However I’m also someone that isn’t very comfortable with sexuality. The first time I made out with someone at a party, it was a real wild make over session. I don’t know why or even how I did it (first time doing this and even apologized afterwards for being a bad kisser), just that I felt extremely dirty afterwards. Extremely guilty too. It felt wrong. That wasn’t me, it didn’t feel like the usual me. I felt guilty for liking it.

Every single time I start being flirty with someone I get overwhelmed and take hours to respond to a single message. I over analyze everything and I think a big part of that is that I’m very afraid of the unknown. Of those things I can’t control. Dating by its very nature is unpredictable. It’s hard for me to cope with that.

Lastly there’s sex and all that part of relationships. Is it wrong to like it? Or to feel aroused by someone? I’ve never had a sexual relationship in my life, I just don’t want to until I find someone I trust. Which is hard. I just feel unsafe when it comes to this type of stuff. The sheer thought of being completely defenseless and without clothes in front of someone else terrifies me. I feel dirty for even thinking I may enjoy it. This stands out particularly because my household is very open to sexuality (with me being the only exception).

I really want to experience dating and relationships but I’m terrified of them. Is there any way to overcome this?

TL;DR dating, sex and relationships terrify me. I’m afraid of the unknown and feel dirty when expressing my own sexuality. I’d be nice to get some advice on how to overcome it.