I (early 20's) don't have much dating experience. I met a guy (30's) on a dating app a few weeks ago. The first time we "spoke" we texted back and forth for like 2 hours and I was totally intrigued. He seemed to be too and said it was really refreshing to talk to me and gave compliments.
After that he seemed to disappear, he ignored texts or took a long time to respond and eventually I just asked him what was up and he said sorry he'd been busy with work, and scheduled a call. Since then we've video called 3x and met up in-person once.
But, I feel like I'm herding cats with him. After that first text convo, we've only texted a handful of times, 3-sentence replies, and he takes forever to answer or not until the next day. He's only initiated texts (like to say hey/how's your day or link me something) 4x in the last 3-4 weeks since that first convo. I've initiated 5x and he takes forever to answer and/or barely says anything.
He also has given me 0 feedback across our 3 calls and one meetup. Again during that first purely text convo he was complimenting me (like, my personality and things) and saying he enjoyed it a lot, he was very talkative and opened up a lot. But after that, nothing. He doesn't flirt, compliment me, say he's enjoying himself or interested…. he actually asks very little about myself and doesn't seem curious about me. I guess I overall feel that he seems withdrawn.
I'm super confused. I don't know if (a) he only said those things in the beginning because he was drinking (he was) and emotional, and in the light of day he wasn't interested in me but went along with things anyway, (b) he's shy or socially anxious (but why come on so strong then?) or (c) he's just a very laid-back guy, probably too laid-back for me.
I am looking for a relationship and also wonder if he might just be looking for something casual instead and therefore isn't that involved. But, could it really be the case that he's not looking for something serious but is still willing to Skype me and meet up from distances during a pandemic?
I know people will probably say "just ask him!" but I feel like I'm already doing all the emotional labor of this situationship and at some point, if I have to drag it out of him that he's interested at all then he can't be that interested.
Am I being too sensitive and this all is in fact a normal pace for the first month, especially given we can't meet up in person much? Or are my concerns on target and it sounds like he's either not interested or shy? How do you know which?
I like him lots so I don't want to give up over nothing. But, I also don't want myself to get hurt.
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