So my boyfriend(19M) and I(22M) have been together for a little more than 6 months. Throughout these 6 months I had a good time with him for the most part. We were very loving and I thought we generally had a good relationship. However, we recently had a “fight” and it really got me thinking if we should continue on with this.
So here’s the “fight”: Basically, throughout this pandemic, we haven’t been able to see each other. I live with my parents which are older and I’m worried that if I were to go out I might catch it and spread it to them. I’ve told my boyfriend this concern of mines multiple times but when we talk on the phone he would always ask me when are we meeting and I would say that maybe in a little bit when things calm down but it would make me feel really bad.
So two weeks ago, I finally mustered up the courage to go visit him and was planning on spending a couple days together. We missed each other a lot and I honestly was really looking forward to it. Fast forward to the day of the meetup, he texts me and says he actually has a party to go to that day and so I ask him if I should come the day after. He tells me I should still come the same day and I can essentially just wait for him at his place while he goes to the party.
At first, I didn’t think too much of it but then the coronavirus came to my mind and then I became really uncomfortable with him going to the party. I told him that and he kept insisting that it was going to be fine. I then said that if you really want to go to the party, he should go but I think we should reschedule this meetup because I wasn’t comfortable. He then told me it was going to be fine and he was going to be “safe” and insisted on telling me to still come the same day and spend time with him after the party.
At this point I was really mad because I felt like he did not care about my concerns and just wanted to meet up without thinking about my point of view and what I’m afraid of. He still ended up going to the party and didn’t text me anything until afterwards. During this time, I just started thinking of other moments where I felt this way: Before we started to get serious, I asked him to go get tested for STDs together and he was pretty offended that I told him to. I said that I was sure you didn’t have anything but it would reassure me if we went to do it. He agreed but every time I brought it up, he would just say yeah let’s go but never follow through. Eventually I bought him an at home test kit and that’s when he did it.
After he came back from the party, he called me and asked if I was mad and I told him how I felt and he apologized and said he didn’t know that I was so concerned. But in my mind I felt like I made it pretty clear. I also told him that I wasn’t mad that he chose to go to the party instead of being with me because I knew he had a good reason to but I was just really disappointed that I couldn’t spend time with him when we were supposed to. He also said he’s just more of a carefree person. We talked on the phone for a bit longer and it’s been a couple days and I just can’t seem to move on from this. I feel like this incident made me feel like he is kind of selfish. I think we have a very good relationship other than these incidents but I don’t know what I should do. I’m contemplating if I should break up but it seems like it’s not a big enough issue to break up but I just can’t seem to move on… I just don’t know.
TL:DR My boyfriend wanted to go to a party when I told him I was worried about the coronavirus and still wanted to see me right afterwards. It made me feel like he was kind of selfish and didn’t care about my concerns. I’m contemplating if I should break up with him but I’m not sure.
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