My friend and I have known each other for years. We both liked each other in the beginning, but nothing happened and life went on and whatever. Over the past couple years or so though, I'd have feelings for her come and go – I feel like we're both too stubborn for one another, and she can be a terribly private person at times, which is obviously her right, but it bothers me sometimes. It's for these reasons and the fact that she said she's a bit of the jealous type that make me think we wouldn't work together. However, I definitely care about her and love her in some capacity.
About a year ago, I had moved to her large city, and we started going out to eat and hanging out more, which was always fine. I tell her that I'm not sure when I'll find someone, and she says she hopes I do soon. She was in a relationship during this time, but that doesn't matter because I wasn't then into her nor she into me.Well, that ended, and I'm obviously going to be there to support and console my friend. I wasn't sure whether I was having feelings for her during this point, but if so, she just got out of a relationship and surely wasn't over it. At one point she asks what I would do if my future girlfriend doesn't like our friendship. I tell her that I don't think I'd let her dictate with whom I may be friends.
I speak to other friends about various dating problems that I'm not having because I don't date, but I'm speaking about dating apps, and idk. I eventually speak to a few friends about Alice, but not much advice besides one asking me if I think Alice and I would work out well based on the stuff I mentioned earlier. I don't know.
I reach out to Alice and ask her how she's feeling about her ex, since it has been a while since we last talked about it, and I both wanted to see where she was for my benefit and because if she wants to talk about it I'll help my friend. She reads but doesn't reply. A few days go by, and today she reaches out to me, excited to show me her new pup and says that the pup is very excited to meet me. We chat for a bit, and I start asking Alice more questions to see if we'd be compatible, because…
Between Alice not responding about her ex and her showing me her pup, I matched with Betty on one of these apps. Already, we hit it off. I'm not trying to say that I'm infatuated, but we're both sending each other plennnty of messages, trying to learn more about one another, and each going into further detail on a subject. We have a lot in common, and she has a lot of traits that I myself find attractive. I had mentioned to Betty that I'm not sure what I'm doing with the app and things in general, but that may not mean much. I'm not sure whether Betty and I will work, obviously, but as of now, on an intellectual level, I definitely like her. I think I may say that I find that I may be more compatible with Betty than I am with Alice, but to be fair, Alice has been so private that she hasn't opened up about stuff so maybe I should ask Alice if she wants to date so that I can find out whether we're compatible.
But I don't know what to do, especially with not being able to actually date either of them right now since I left the city their in for the time being due to the pandemic. I would at the very least want to stay friends with both of them. I really don't want to lose my present friend.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
tl;dr: I've known friend for a while, and somewhat have had unexplored feelings for her. I started using dating apps and found someone with whom I get along well and like on an intellectual level, but now I'm debating on trying things with my friend first. Idk what to do.
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