I just had this girl I was really into ghost me after one date. The date went super well, I actually ended up staying the night. She basically stopped replying as soon as I got home from her house the next morning. I am kinda torn up about it because this is the first date that I have gotten in four years, and it was basically blind luck. She just happened to scroll down her Hinge and chose me for whatever reason. I just want someone who makes me feel wanted, ya know? She made me feel exactly like that for our one night together, I never got the sense that she would've rather been doing something else or been somewhere else besides with me.
Every girl I've talked to since my last girlfriend (have not dated anybody since I was 16 years old, but as I'll reveal to you it's not for lack of trying at all). I'll change everyone's names for privacy purposes. I'm going to warn you that it might sound like I'm making shit up here, I am not.
- Katherine, my last girlfriend was the most manipulative and abusive person I've ever met. She would always threaten to dump me if I didn't do absolutely everything she asked me to do, she would always remind me that there are plenty of dudes in her DMs waiting to get a shot with her, always making me feel inadequate, things like that.
- Jessica was the next girl I tried to get with, we were both about 16-17 years old, and we were really good friends, and I had a huge crush on her. Her boyfriend was a total asshole to her, and she finally leaves him, I confess my feelings (cringe) and long story short, I'm her rebound for like a weekend until she gets back with her boyfriend. She continued to string me along for like another year and a half before I decided I had enough of it. This weekend that we hung out a lot was the last date I went on until last weekend.
- Tyrah was next, during my senior year, she basically used me as her rebound. She never wanted to actually hang out, she just texted me and flirted with me probably because I text back fast. She ended up ghosting me as soon as she found a new guy.
- Next up we have Alexis, a girl I met on Bumble and got a date with January of last year, except she canceled it like the day before because she demanded to know my political opinions and I told her I don't like to talk about that sort of thing with people I don't know very well.
- Then there's Isabelle, a girl that I met at a church I used to go to, and I had also finally gotten a date with and I was so nervous for it. I only got like an hour and a half of sleep the night before, because I was just thinking "What the hell is going to go wrong this time." The thing that went wrong was the fact that the date didn't go. She stood me up. About a month later, she texts me like nothing ever happened, so I agree to hang out with her again and I get stood up again.
- The next girl would be Kelly, we matched on Bumble, she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship and was dating a dude that looked literally just like me about a week or so later. That kind of stung but I got over it pretty quickly.
- The most recent example is Jade, we met on Hinge, and I actually ended up going on a date with this girl. It was honestly like the most fun I've ever had. She clearly didn't hate my company, as I ended up staying at her place that night. The next day, I decided to write a cute song that I was going to play for her on our next date. I write this song, then try to set up our next date. And she never replies. I finish up the song and record it and release it, send it to her, knowing that she has already ghosted me, and she leaves the song on read. Perhaps you could say that the song was a bit over the top, but it wasn't a "I love you song" it was more of a "I had a great time and hope I can see you again" song (message me if you want to hear it, it's on all major streaming platforms, I'm quite happy with how it turned out). But also like… That's me… I'm over the top… I go all in on people. Surely there is SOMEONE who appreciates that? Everyone who has heard it thinks it's cute. I got so bummed out by this one because this entire time, I was keeping my sanity by saying "They've never gone on a date with me. IF I can actually get a date with a girl, then things will go better". I did get that date and they hardly went better. I'm now back at square one.
I've asked so many people close to me what the hell is wrong, why can't this shit just ever work out for me, and nobody has an answer. I've made drastic changes to my physical appearance (I've lost 60 pounds in the past year), changes in my attitude, I've learned to not share as much about myself as I used to… Nothing seems to work… It's always a new girl, but the same old bullshit. Everyone I talk to claims it's the girls and not me, but I find that so arrogant. It has to come back to me on some level. There is no way I have seven girls in a row over a period of four years (maybe that's not a lot to some of you, but it is very hard for me to put myself out there like this to begin with) all end up treating me like human garbage without it somehow being my fault.
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