When I think about meeting new people and they seem boring, I realize I am comparing all the best parts of my former relationship. How can someone I just met, who I barely know or am just getting to know, compare to someone I built a former deep and meaningful relationship with?
It’s not realistic to expect that right off the bat. It’s easy to hold your ex to a high standard and feel as though no one else will hold up to them, but it’s unrealistic to compare a connection that formed over time and a connection just beginning to develop. I felt like they knew me better than anyone else. That came from spending a LOT of time together. I can’t expect to feel seen and known from people who Ive barely given the chance to get to know me. Comparing, and looking for that instant connection, is not always representative of what your relationship could be.
I have to constantly keep reminding myself of this. You’ll meet someone else who blows that person out of the water. Very rarely is a real connection formed so instantly. Give people a chance—chemistry can be formed. Don’t compare the best parts of your past to how things are going now. It’s not fair to the other person to have to try and live up to an impossible standard right off the bat. I know this is something I have to work on. Hopefully it’s something that helps you too.
submitted by /u/Xyuli
[link] [comments]
