Letter to A

I just wish we could go back to the time you and I started talking and took things slow. Maybe if we had started out as friends and didn’t jump into dating we are probAbly still together or at least in a much better place than where we are right now. Who knows maybe we would have been friends. When you and I met, I never realized that I can connect with a guy in an instant. You and I want the same things, we like the same things, you would ask me questions both personal, sometimes super random. I like how positive you are in life and your outlook on things. I like hearing you laugh and loved the fact that I make you laugh. You didn’t hesitate sharing yourself to me and I did the same thing. It was just so easy. I thought we were on the right track, we made plans, then the pandemic started happening and at the same time we started getting to know each other more deeply. You learned things about me, my plans in the future and I’ve learned your plans too. I like how you call us “yin and yang” because basically thats what we are really in terms of our personalities. As we get on to know more about each other we had fought more than we have, we ended up not talking for days at a time and now here we are back to being complete strangers. Maybe we had a whirlwind of romance but I had never regretted any part of it. What hurt me the most is how we ended up planning for the future one day and feeling like we can see each other together for a very long time to hearing you say to me “I don’t want anything from you”. I honestly had genuine feelings for you and I really really miss you. But tbh idk if you really felt strongly for me. I never held back on showing you how I am as a person, but I felt sometimes that you did. I sometimes think I did something wrong, if I texted you too much, was i super needy or just super easy.. Idk.

I’m sad about how this happened. It sucks how you can be with someone and think that you can be together and then in an instant completely back to being strangers.