Looking for a ‘gamer girl’ to date seems impossible once you’re out of school and college.

I, a male 28 year old living in Phoenix, have been browsing every possible dating app for people I feel like I could gel with. Specifically, I'm hoping to find someone with similar interests to me in my area that I could share my passions with. I grew up gaming, and it's the main wait I de-stress after a day of work. All my closest friends are gamers and many times I could spend most of a weekend gaming with them. I don't consider myself addicted, since I am willing to go out and do things and put gaming on the backburner, it's just the way I keep sane. Even though I enjoy going out and doing things, at heart I'm a homebody and the best way I recharge my batteries is staying home.

A lot of people I feel don't understand this, and I feel that by stating I'm a gamer in my profiles, I am limiting the number of matches I could get. I know it is possible for a gamer to live happily with someone who doesn't touch a controller, but I feel like I would be happier if I could share my #1 passion in life with the person I am around every single day. I look at a couple of my close friends who are dating each other, both gamers, and they seem so genuinely happy to share this passion with each other. I honestly envy their relationship in a good way, because they show me what I could have.

Now the main problem I'm facing, since I missed out on dating for much of high school and college due to shyness, is I feel like I have missed my opportunity to find someone with similar interests to me. Now when browsing in apps, I feel like I'm rejected or ignored more often than not because I don't have the typical "I love hiking, partying, and going to concerts" that every single other person on there has. Now there have been a few 'gamer girls' I've found, but for the most part they have major issues in my eyes, like they smoke which I can't be around, or they have children from before, or they are simply not my type of girl. I have checked "gamer" dating websites as well, but most of those seem to have no users, and there are only a couple of people in my area (and I live in a city of 5 million). I don't understand how I'm supposed to do this when I feel I have no shot. I can't be genuine with regular (for lack of a better term) girls because as soon as they see I have nerdy interests they look down on me, and I can't find any girls that share my passions and interests. I am terrified of ending up ina a relationship where I can't do my hobby or talk to my friends because my partner feels like it's taking time away from her, and where I have to choose between making myself happy, or keeping her happy.

I am not sure what the purpose of my post is, but any help or words of wisdom would be appreciated.