I’ve always grown up in a really religious family (I’m agnostic/skeptical Christian). I think abstinence until marriage would be great, but I don’t think it’s a realistic option for me. I want a lasting marriage someday and making sure we’re both happy sexually is important. It also seems odd to date for years without sex and then suddenly marry and it’s ok.
I’ve tried dating two guys and both of them told me they were fine with waiting, but then they kept pressuring me even when I told them to stop (I’m twenty and try to date a few years older so they aren’t as horny, but it doesn’t seem to work). I can’t tell if I have a low libido (even being asexual) or if I’ve just been so conditioned to ignore it. I love cuddling and making out, but there’s this huge mental block of NO masturbation/sex. I also don’t want to go on birth control because I’ve had hormonal health issues in the past and I don’t want to screw them up again.
I don’t have anyone I can talk to this about. I’ve thought about getting a sex therapist but I can’t afford it. I also don’t want to be convinced to be promiscuous, I just want to learn how to express this to someone in the future without seeming crazy or close-minded. I feel like this is something I’d able to my future boyfriend about, but I’m not sure how I would express myself.
Do you guys think there’s guys who are actually willing to wait several months to years until I feel ok, and wouldn’t pressure me to take birth control? I feel like such a tease if I ever date because I have no immediate intentions of having sex and that’s usually what they seem to want. I have no idea when to break the news – I don’t want them to waste their time fishing when I know I’m not gonna bite, but I also don’t want to bring up sex too early.
submitted by /u/darkchoc_cupcake
[link] [comments]
