Hi, Reddit I need your help!
My ex-bf broke up with me exactly 2 months and a half ago, then I completely stopped talking to him two weeks after, I went into fully NO CONTACT for 2 months. It was honestly the most painful feeling I've been through I'm ngl. But I took that time to learn so much about myself, and I can say I was okay with the thought of never talking to him again, I can say I was partially moved on, I didn't see myself feeling sad or thinking about him.
Two days ago, he reached out. I didn't expect it, his the type of person I couldn't imagine coming back or being the first to reach out. I promised myself I was never going to reach out either.
So I kept the conversation short at first, then I had to go straight to the point '" why are you reaching out ?", he told me he had been thinking about reaching out every day and just didn't know how to and was scared I would reject him. he was in the habit of checking my social media to see if I have moved on. he tried to jump into a relationship ( a rebound) then found himself comparing me to them, even showing pictures of us to the rebound, so it didn't work out, then he tried to talk to couple other people but he ended up giving up on them just because he couldn't stop thinking about me, and how he ruined everything. He started feeling so guilty and couldn't stop crying himself to sleep, talking to his therapist and friends about me to the point that they were all confused why he keeps mentioning me every time?
I told him How appreciated him thinking about me, but he left me in a really dark place. Like why would he tell me he wasn't looking for a relationship then tried to jump into something else right after dumping me, AND TRIED TO COMPARE THEM TO ME TO SEE IF HE WOULD FEEL THE WAY I WAS MAKING HIM FEEL? He explained himself by telling me he convinced himself I didn't want to be with him? This is because when we were talking I wanted to take things slowly I asked him to just be friends and slowly get to know each other, then a relationship. He took it really bad and convinced himself that he and I weren't on the same page, but it's funny because I knew about that and tried to communicate with him a couple of times to reassure what I wanted ( a relationship but it has to come naturally).
I asked what he wanted to do? he went ahead told me, he misses me more than anything and want me back but don't want to push it on me if I'm not comfortable with it, he would be fine even just being my friend if that's what I want, but he wants to talk to me again. I explained to him that I'm at a good place at the moment and the last thing I want is to just become strictly friend with someone I loved, this early. I want to talk to him also but I want everything to go slowly. I don't want him to think I forgot about the pain he caused me but I'm almost healed from it so I'm comfortable talking to him and see where it goes, but I'm not healed to be strictly friend yet. He agreed! Apologized for the pain he made me go through. I make sure to let him know I expect him to communicate properly this time and I won't mention something bothering me twice before I'm out. So I guess I can say we both agreed to get to know each other again and see where it takes us.
But what has been bothering me is, I don't know myself what to expect from this? I really don't want to go through that pain again if I end up getting play again ( I also mentioned this to him that as soon as he does something I don't like I'm going to mention it if he doesn't change I'm out for good! ).
Is he reaching out because he tested the water somewhere else and didn't found anything? is he bored? I don't know how to take this because I have never decided to give an ex another chance, so please if someone has been through this can you tell me what to do? or if anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.
submitted by /u/stef99ane19
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