I don’t know if this is the right sub for this, but I feel like I have to talk to someone about it. Using an old alt for anonymity (although the username is no longer ironic).
My SO and I celebrated our sixth year anniversary this March. We were planning on getting married this summer. Then she developed a sinus infection that turned out to not be a sinus infection, and long story short she passed on April 2nd.
I spent most of April dealing with the immediate fallout of her passing. I’m close with her family, and they have all been incredibly supportive, as have my family and friends. But for the last month or so, I’ve been feeling a tremendous amount of anxiety at the prospect of re-entering the dating world. And I can’t talk to any of them about it, because I don’t want to sound like I’m looking to start dating (I’m not) or I’m ready to move on (again, not) or anything like that.
I can’t sleep at night. I can’t focus on my work. I can’t do much of anything without this coming up. I’m 44 years old and I really can’t imagine being out there again at this point in my life, trying to go on dates and shit like that when all I want to do is be home on the couch with someone I care about next to me. I’m a little insecure about my looks (I’ve gotten somewhat out of shape over the last few months for quarantine and grief-related reasons), I’m extremely insecure about being single in my 40s, I can’t imagine using tinder or anything like that to meet anyone, and I frankly don’t know what I’m going to do.
I don’t know if I’m really looking for advice per se, or if I just needed to get this off my chest. But if anyone has any words of wisdom I would greatly appreciate them.
submitted by /u/sadolddrunk
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