Please help me feel less alone in this

Hoping someone here can help me feel less alone in this

Hi. So long story short, I met my ex and I fell harder than I ever have before. I was head over heals, told my entire extended family he was the one and if we ever broke up it’d be his doing because I was smitten. We had some really really amazing times, the happiest times I’ve ever felt. I was happy, excited, hopeful, confident, and life was the best it had ever been. But things changed. We started having some issues, and then COVID-19 happened. I essentially moved in with him, lived with him for about 2 months. Now we’re here. We fought a ton, and I started seeing our differences. Not differences we could talk about or work through, just differences as people that kept us from working. So I broke up with him, and found out he was having these same thoughts about our differences keeping up from having a future and working out.

Seems clear cut, we both know we’re different people, lots of disagreements, break up and move on. But that’s not how it’s going at all. I loved him, and when we were happy I was HAPPY. Having to navigate a heart break during quarantining and a world pandemic is proving to be the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through. I’ve always struggled with anxiety but never this severely. I’m intensely sad, to the point where I feel sick and my chest hurts. Not only can I not go out and see my friends, but my family is across the country. I can’t go out and get a new hobby, (though yes I have been painting some), I can’t go out drinking with my girls, I can’t DO the normal things I’d do when I’m coping with a heart break. So I’m stuck. And I keep seeing old pictures of him and I, or videos of me and my best friend on our recent travels, and I feel hopeless. I feel like I’m drowning. I was so happy, so FULL of life and love, and so head over heels for a guy I thought was out of my league. And now I’m here, where I feel like I’m fighting to exist, constantly trying to distract myself from the sad I feel, and missing the happy I had just months ago. Unsure of how long the world will be like this, and how long I’ll feel like this. How do I stop missing the happy me, it’s eating me inside. I don’t feel sad looking at the pictures of me and my ex because I miss him, I am sad because I miss the happiness I felt, and the excitement I felt towards him. I see the pictures and it hurts me because I feel like a different person now. I feel like I’m drowning.