Pretty sure I just got ghosted after a year. I’m so lost.

I met a guy year ago and we’ve been hanging out consistently since. Once or twice a week, texts occasionally throughout the week to keep in touch. We’re not dating. We’re friends and also FWB.

I’ve been watching him spiral down a dark path for 2 months now. It’s painfully obvious he’s going through something, but he’s an absolute vault and won’t tell me anything.

So we went out to a bar 2 weeks ago. Long story short, we talked about his problems a bit and he said he’s been so angry lately and doesn’t know why. I felt bad.

Long story short, he was trashed and as we were heading out, he picked a fight. 100% his fault.

I HATE violence. Hate it. I don’t even watch scary movies and obviously have never been in a fight in my life, I’m always the de-escalator trying to calm things down. So that’s what I was doing.

Keeping this as short as possible, he got his head split open on the street from the first initial push and 2 guys were on him. One punched him in the face and the other kicked him as he laid on the street holding his bleeding head.

I don’t know what came over me. It was pure instinct, fight or flight. 1000% filled with adrenaline seeing my friend in trouble, I chose fight.

I ran down the street as fast as I could and barreled into one of the guys, grabbed his shirt and pulled with all my might as I kept going and we both fell into the street. Words were exchanged after that but that was the end of the actual fight.

I should mention I’m 5’2” and 110lbs, so I’m tiny. My friend is 6’ and almost 200lbs so a pretty big dude.

Everything was chaos but i got him to leave, and his head was HORRIBLE. Refused to go to the hospital so we bandaged him up as best we could and went to bed.

I left early the next morning and we briefly talked via text. Everything was totally normal. He said he needed to re-evaluate his life and we’ll talk soon.

I gave him space but I was concerned about his head, so I playfully texted him a few days later and asked how’s the noggin.

He never responded which is very unlike him but I let it go. Figured he was re-evaluating, ya know? Didn’t hear from him until the following Monday night (a week after the incident)

Another long story short, he called me to pick him up because he was drunk. I got there 20mins after he called, saw his truck but couldn’t find him.

I texted and asked where he was, then called but it just rang and went to voicemail. It was like midnight so I called back. It went straight to voicemail.

He turned his phone off. He left, and turned his phone off. He actively avoided me. AFTER asking me to come get him! And after ignoring me all week (which I thought he was busy getting his life in order, but clearly not)

So I text him and was like “did you really have me drive out here then you turned your phone off?? I’m leaving in 10 minutes”.

When I went to leave I texted him again and said “well that was way beyond fucking shady but I hope you made it home safe. Talk to ya later”

That was it. I figured he’d apologize first thing the next morning, but he never did. Didn’t hear from him all week again. Today makes one week since that incident. This is so unlike him. All of this.

I texted him Saturday (2 days ago) and said “you still alive?” And he didn’t respond

Yesterday I texted him and said “why aren’t you talking to me anymore?” No response

3 hours later I texted and said “will you just please say something??” No response

And here I am. I’m crushed. I’m confused. I’m worried. I’m mad. I’m sad. I’m lost.

I now have 9 texts in a row floating out there that he hasn’t responded to over the 2 week stretch. Not all the same day, but regardless, 9 texts. He’s never done that to me. Ever.

I don’t even know if he’s officially alive, all I know is he was all fucked up and disappeared. And now suddenly isn’t responding. It’s incredibly stressful.

I don’t know what to do. I’m not going to text him anymore obviously but I’m so worried about him. He’s combining drugs and alcohol like it’s nobody’s business and he’s acting completely out of character.

I know everyone is going to say he’s a waste of time and to move on, but I genuinely care about him. People don’t always treat you right when they’re going through something awful, and while it doesn’t excuse it, I’d hate to turn my back on him right now. Even though he clearly turned his back on me.

I can’t help but wonder if he might feel a bit emasculated and embarrassed that I came to his rescue in the bar fight, especially because I’m a small girl. That’s the only thing I can figure that I did to piss him off. It wasn’t something I even thought about, I saw a friend and trouble and instinctively helped.

Where do I go from here? He just vanished. After a year. It’s seriously fucking with my head not knowing what the FUCK is going on. Is he dead? Does he hate me? Did he find someone else? Is he seriously never going to talk to me ever again? Just a million questions.

I refuse to just fade away. He owes me more than that. Hearing him say he hates me would be devastating, but it would be better than nothing.

If nothing else I’m going to take the hint and send him a goodbye text and tell him to reach out if he ever has a change of heart. I’ve actually already written it, I just haven’t sent it yet because then I’m admitting this is officially happening. And that’s breaking me.

How long do I wait to send this goodbye letter? I don’t even want to send it because I don’t want to say goodbye, I just want my friend back. I’m so fucking sad.