Repost cos it got removed from r/relationships.
Right Reddit, apologies for the long one but I need your help here, I’m in a bit over my head and I’m not sure how to proceed.
I am a high school teacher (24M) in Scotland and I’ve been working with L (33F) for the last two years. We immediately hit it off and became good friends straight away, we bounce of each other professionally and socially, when ever we are in a room together there is a fantastic vibe and a lot of laughter. Staff and kids regularly comment on us as a duo. I was absolutely blown away looking back but I didn’t give it much thought at the time due to the age gap, work and the fact I was still with my ex.
As time passed (next school year) and I broke up with my ex I started to get more and more into L. This is woman is absolutely beyond everything I could have hoped for, we click on such a level, she is absolutely stunning, leaves me in tears laughing on a regular basis and has this passion inside her that literally sets my heart pounding when she gets excited about something. Her smile literally turns me to mush and my brain becomes absolutely useless which comes across as awkwardness but just seems to make her laugh.
Things have always been pretty sexually charged between us but there’s a line that’s never been crossed. I’ve tried to stay professional other than a kiss during a drunken staff night out because of us working together (same line manager different department). She comes over for a drink and dinner at least once a week and I’ve alway been a gentleman but it’s never mentioned at school. Her career is exceptionally important to her (she is phenomenal at her job and wants to reach senior leadership in the next two years) and I’ve always been scared of affecting her progression which is why I’ve not said anything to her about how I feel and remained professional. Theres no rule about teachers dating but it’s quite frowned upon from what I’ve heard. I’ve joked about us dating and things but she never openly expressed an interest and can blow a bit hot and cold so I held back. That being said she and other colleagues regularly make jokes about the fact that I’m in love with her and the fact we spend so much time together…
Anyways, fast forward to now and the Covid situation. Initially I was absolutely gutted (quarantining alone). In my head I wasn’t going to see/speak to her for potentially weeks at a time (we spend a lot of time together in person but don’t message huge amounts) but to my surprise and delight she starts calling me every day! After weeks of it slowly building up were now talking 2-3 hours a day. I know from what she’s said that she hasn’t spoken to anyone like this since her divorce 7/8 years ago but even then I still keep questioning if she’s interested or just bored and every time this question comes up in my head I turn super awkward.
Last week after a lot of wondering I cracked. After we had both been in for a covid training session she came back to mine and I had a bottle of wine waiting (sorry social distancing). I told her everything. Now normally, I can be pretty smooth (I know most guys say this but I’m quite chill and have done alright historically) But again for some reason I was an absolutely blithering idiot! Nerves defo got the better of me and both of us were laughing at how bad my game is but some of the signs were positive.
if it wasn’t for school we’d already be dating it’s just work and the age gap, that’s it it would be so so easy for us to be together…
I went for the goodbye kiss but she pulled away and said if you kiss me it’s too much like we’re together.
The romantic in me is convinced that this all part of the “us getting together” story and I genuinely don’t think it would affect either of our jobs but herein lies my problem reddit; I have lost ALL my chill. Having so much unproductive time has left me overthinking absolutely everything!
The vibe I’m getting is that she wants to take things slowly and figure things out but with the boredom of quarantine I can’t think about anything else!! I want to convince her that work and the age gap isn’t an issue but until quarantine is over I don’t really know what I could even do and I’m not even sure if us being together could actually affect her career negatively?! The last thing I want is to push on and make things awkward at school or stop her achieving her potential.
So reddit; How do I convince her that work and the age gap isn’t an issue? Could us being together really impact her career that much? And how do I keep my cool when there’s so much thinking time right now?!
TL;DR fallen for a coworker. She’s holding back because of quarantine, the age gap and because she’s worried about the impact on her career progression. The extra time to alone is making me overthink everything!
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