Fourth date. Got stood up. She texted me saying she’s running late as she hasn’t accounted for delays while biking. I showed up two hours later at her apartment(she had not responded to my texts or calls) and when I knock on her door she texts me ‘I can’t talk right now’. So I left the roses I had bought for her (was going to ask her to be my gf after dinner) on her door and left. I drunk texted (I was drunk, I’m not making an excuse for my behavior) her
‘Well I hope you call me and tell me what happened, but regardless I’m probably not going to sleep well tonight. I’ve told you I got trust issues but I haven’t told you the times I got ghosted or stood up and it fucking hurts. Like, I know you got trust issues. I do too. And throughout my life i haven’t had someone to rely on and it sucks. I wish you’d call me so I can understand what’s going on. I understand things happened but if you don’t tell me about it I’m just left in the dark to fend for myself. I like who you are t**** and I like being around you. I don’t know how to act in this type of situation.’
And she responded
‘I am so incredibly sorry about tonight. You did not deserve that at all. But honestly I told you my friend was over and upset and we were trying to deal with that and the fact that you didn’t respect that annoys me. Also you trying to force me to open up and talk to you is definitely not what I want. And you should know that. You didn’t deserve to be stood up and I am truly sorry about that but I have a lot going on right now and I kinda need to deal with it’
Like I understand where she’s coming from. The only text she sent beforehand was ‘I am okay. My friend is here and dealing with something too’ (this text was sent after I had shown up at her door)
But, what about me ? I waited two hours for her before to reply which she didn’t. Honestly, like I spent four hours getting ready for her. She didn’t at any point let me know that she and her friend was going through things and just left me hanging… for two hours I was still dressed up waiting to go out with her. I don’t know man, I really can’t anymore. How I do I trust my heart when it keeps screwing me over ?
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