I’ve (25F) been talking to a guy (27M) for a little over a month, we haven’t had that “what are we” discussion, but I’ve been enjoying getting to know him and don’t feel a rush to have that kind of discussion yet. We usually talk for a bit every evening, and things have been fine until this hiccup late last week.
I had grad school finals last week so we weren’t able to speak much (I would call and talk to him for a bit during study breaks), but once that wrapped up we were discussing catching up last Thursday evening. He did mention that he would be going to his parents house at some point (he wasn’t sure which day) for at least a week to help them out with some stuff. Thursday rolls around and I sent him a text asking what he was up to, but didn’t get a response back until way later in the evening saying he was now at his parents’ house.
Next time we speak is on Saturday, where I sent him a text around noon but his texts had 4-5 hour intervals in between. I figured he was busy so instead of trying to hold an already dying conversation via text, I just messaged back saying to give me a call on Sunday if/when he had a little free time.
I don’t hear from him again until last night (Monday) at 11pm, which he texted and then called me (I didn’t pick up/respond because I was already tired and just wanted to go to bed). He also texted me this morning, but I wasn’t sure how to respond to him yet.
I’ve been feeling kinda off about it, not because he’s busy/whatever, I completely understand we both have other obligations and sometimes our schedules just won’t line up. However, I do feel bothered that he hasn’t put in effort to quickly communicate information. If you can’t make a commitment to something (Ie. talking on Thursday or Sunday), it’s not hard at all to send a quick text saying you can’t do it, rather than just straight up not acknowledging it, or not responding until hours after. I know he’s busy so I’m not expecting him to be available like he normally would, but no one is just that busy to where they can’t send a quick text “Hey, sorry won’t be able to catch up with you today.” I get it’s only been a month so I don’t expect to be a top priority, but it does make me question whether we are on the same page.
My question is: Is this something worth bringing up? I do feel that I am allowed to feel a bit rubbed-the-wrong-way, but I am not sure if this is something I should play off and be cool, or if this is something I should mention (if so, how would you bring it up)? I don’t want to come off as some crazy-obsessive girl, but at the same time I do feel it is important to express when something is bothering you. I just don’t want to end up pushing him away by coming on too strong, too early.
Sorry for this being so long. Any advice?
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