Should I give up on this or have hope?

Hello ppl this is my first time using this app But I really need some advice

So last year at my old college I was coworkers with this guy. We had a class together the year before and clicked really well, after like a month of working we pretty much became best friends. We had everything in common, same sense of humor and would tell each other all of our problems and people thought we were a couple Bc we were always together. However, he has a girlfriend but he constantly complains about her to me and she is very controlling and has cheated on him. He’s always been faithful to her and I always felt like she didn’t deserve him. By the end of the year, I realized I had feelings for him. I never thought about him that way but when I would get drunk at parties I would tell my friends how much I loved him. I’m the type of person who bottles feelings up so that’s what i did. For an entire summer I was hiding my love for him and then we finally hung out in September and I broke down and told him how I feel. Now since I had been bottling up these feelings for so long I kind of exploded and started crying and I think I even said “when I was drunk i told my fiends I wanted your gf to die” which I clearly don’t literally mean, I am a totally normal girl but it just sounded rlly bad the way I said it. He was rlly nice about it and told me that we could still be friends but that he loves his gf. But of course after that he ignored me every time I tried to reach out and I even tried to tell him I was confused about my feelings and didn’t rlly love him that way but he still wouldn’t talk to me besides like one word texts. He told my friend that he can never go back to being my friend because I made it too weird and that I creeped him out Bc he thought I wanted to hurt his gf. And I don’t! Like I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. So basically, I lost my best bud who I am still in love with. It has been like 9 months since we stopped being friends but I love him so much and still feel heartbroken. Do you think he will ever turn around and be with me? Or stick with his gf who treats him like crap I know everyone says this but I feel like we are supposed to be together. He even told me once that I am the coolest girl he even met, he said I am even cooler than his gf. 🙁