Okay, so I left the dating scene around the time I turned 23, because I was a combination of bored and unimpressed with the pickings. Worked on myself, had a blast, all the good jazz. I've recently decided to download a few different apps and take a look again, this time with a different mindset. Just looking for fun. I was a bit surprised how true so many of the stereotypes are for men's OLD, so I wanted to share a bit of what I considered when looking at women's profiles.
As a disclaimer, this isn't mean to attack or demean anyone. These are just notes that may help some women make better profiles and attract men that aren't just looking for a quickie. A lot of these tips probably ALSO apply to men, but having never looked at the female side of things, I don't want to make assumptions.
1) Actually fill out your profile! It's great to have a few pics, but throw us a bone to talk to you about. Too many one-liners, empty, or meaningless bios with emojis. This was a vast majority from about 5 different apps. (List at the bottom).
2) Too many generic things. Having seen the office is great and all, but it's not a replacement for a personality. Leave those kinds of things for the short little questions about the last show you binged that every app has. Some examples:
– Seen the office.
– Looking for an adventure.
– Not like other girls.
– Coffee is life.
– I have a son/daughter and they are my life. (More on this in a bit, put the pitchforks down please!).
3) Following you on other social media because you "aren't on here often". The whole point of the dating app is to connect on that platform. If you're advertising an Instagram for the world to see, guys are going to think "oh great, she has validation issues." We don't come to dating apps to see your Instagram. It's fine to have it connected or whatever, but about 30-40% of profiles just say "follow me on insta." Being very very blunt: that's a bit pathetic. You can do better than that, surely.
4) Having a kid is already a major setback in the dating world as a single parent. I know this secondhand from friends that are in the same boat. But there is something about the line "they are my world" that sends a signal of emotional unavailability, which is not what guys looking for something serious are going to want to see. That being said, it's very important to mention you are bringing that level of commitment into a relationship. Be clear, but be concise and try to convey that you still have room in your heart and time in your schedule for the person you claim to be looking for.
5) Don't be the woman that makes a bunch of demands in her profile. If you're asking for the moon, you need to also convey that you're bringing the stars. Relationships are give and take, and while it's normal and healthy to have standards, those are a two way street and you need to bring something of value to the relationship. Sex alone is not enough.
6) Get rid of the damn Instagram filters and sheer cleavage pics, and bathroom pics in booty shorts in front of the mirror. The biggest thing that screams is that there's some level of insecurity and addiction to validation. Ask the question, if you need filters to look pretty, are you actually pretty? Or if you need to show off your assets, is that really the best thing you bring to the table? A sun dress and a smile are far more powerful than a filter, and talking about the things you love will be a much better conversation starter than "wat dat ass do tho?"
These are just some observations from a week or so back on apps. I've had the pleasure of a few very nice conversations and a virtual date playing Overwatch, which was loads of fun! But those came from 1/100 women on matches, it would be fantastic to see some of the points above be taken into account when crafting a profile. We guys want to see the best you women have to offer, and we want to bring our best to the table to show you in return. Help us play this game of give and take and everybody wins 🙂
As for the apps used: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OkCupid, POF, and Match
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