Yes, I know some things we see here are serious red flags or abuse and that person SHOULD leave. And, there definitely is a danger of staying in a toxic relationship too long.
BUT
Whenever anyone posts asking for advice on ANY issue, i find that without fail, there will always be a sizeable amount of comments telling them to “get out of there”, “dump their ass”, “yeah, that’s a major red flag, you need to leave NOW” etc. I think this is unhelpful.
We have to remember that relationships involve two entire humans with whole personalities and countless types of interaction. We cannot just boil the person that is causing the issue down so far that they EMBODY the issue. They are multifaceted human beings with strengths and flaws.
People here tend to infer far too much from a single issue. We can’t infer people’s deep psychological defects, or predict their intentions, or divine what they will do in the future with any accuracy, when the only information we have is a single action or phrase or feeling.
It really makes me worry that decent relationships/dates with amazing potential could be being ruined by one party being relentlessly told to end things with them.
It also makes me worry about the mentality of people in dating and relationships if they feel like they want to drop people as soon as a single problem or concern arises. It shows a lack of empathy and willingness to understand other people and work through things together, and grow to overcome flaws. I feel like many people are trapped in an endless cycle of constantly burning through dates and discarding people, looking for their perfect, “everything always is amazing” partner who doesn’t exist.
I suggest that we put more effort into proposing ways in which partners can overcome their problems together, rather than taking the easy route of “just be done with them” every time.
submitted by /u/SpiritsPath
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