This hurts [rant]

Sorry if this content isn't really allowed here, I just have to get this off my chest.

I fucking hate dating. I [22m] went on a date earlier this week (first one since I broke up with my abusive ex gf of 2yrs earlier in the year) and it was great. We talked a lot in the days leading up to the date (bad idea i know) but I really liked her personality and enjoyed talking to her a lot. Then the date came and even though I was nervous and my health problems were flaring up, I had a blast. We spent 12 hours together and finished the night making out in her car and talking about life in ways I haven't talked about it with anyone in years. She called me while I was driving home and we talked until 3 AM.

Now I'm ghosted. I've tried texting her a few times and get dismissive or no response. I know I'm not the best fucking guy and I probably said some cringey things on the date but I know she was having fun because I was having fun and I honestly never can enjoy a moment if I'm the only one enjoying it. I just don't know how to decouple myself from these bad feelings and hating myself. In the past few days I've just been trying and failing to focus on my finals, to the point where I completely blew a final because I couldn't stop thinking about it and what did I do wrong instead of studying. Even now I have pages to read and a final due in 3 hours but I'm here posting my sob story because I just can't handle it. I'm not attached to her whatsoever–beyond feeling sad that I finally met someone outside my ex that made me feel at least something, but the fact that the date went so well to the point where at the end of it we were talking like we had always known eachother. And then that feeling and connection disappears as soon as it came up. Its just rough. I wish I was the type of person who could just go out and hook up with randoms to make myself forget or care less but I'm just not one of those men, I need an intimate connection beyond the physical. It just feels like I can't ever get that and I'm constantly being teased with it just to have the rug pulled out from under me.

If anyone has any advice, it would be greatly appreciated. Hopefully I don't fail another final by the time I come back to check comments lol.