This probably isn’t a popular idea but

From what I hear most women are ultimately looking for the real deal. They want a solid relationship. Sex is fun but it’s almost besides the point. And their experience often sucks because most guys, particularly younger guys, are mostly interested in sex.

You could argue that this dynamic ultimately goes back to differences in biology related to reproduction. Women have limited time to reproduce. Men however theoretically have all the time in the world.

That’s not all guys though. There’s a good number of romantically oriented guys. Guys that chiefly desire a relationship. So why can’t these people find each other?

I think the old “nice guys finish last” idea relates to the idea that younger women tend to want a relationship with the type of guys that just want sex. And that’s a part of the source of their frustration. The other part is that a lot of romantic guys may be too shy to make a move. I think part of being a romantic kind of involves clinging to a pretty world and pretty ideas of potential lovers that may be based pretty far from reality. So I think the more romantic someone is, the more they REALLY want a relationship, the more likely it is for them to also be too shy to pull it off. Because they don’t want to dispel their romantic worldview that they cling to by things not working out right. Maybe that’s part of the reason why men make a move more than women do. Because women are more romantic, they want a relationship more.

With time this wanes a bit after some failures are experienced. These women become less romantic and eventually stop wanting to be in a relationship, especially with the types of guys that end up frequently being fuckboys, and they either stop looking or “lower” their standards to other guys including guys that are more romantically oriented. Also, the romantic guys with time become less romantic and more grounded in reality. Ideally, they still cling on to some of their idealism. But they begin to make moves as well. And then hopefully things work out right.

So basically, a lot of romantic younger women want a romantic, charismatic, amazing man that just is extremely rare. They say they want relationships the most but their choices reflect other priorities. Or maybe their choices simply reflect that there’s a lot more guys that just want sex. Maybe a bit of both.

A lot of romantic younger guys are confused and are lacking characteristics many young women are interested in BECAUSE they are what the young women claim they actually want. And it makes them hesitant to make the move that needs to be made for both to get what they want.

Then some guys are culturally scum and other guys become scummy in their angst. These guys are the niceguys.