But here goes with 33-year-old male. My whole life I’ve never really liked myself I think it’s because of some early childhood issues with my parents and was ridiculed in grade school for being overweight and being told that I need a bra by other kids.
Killed my self-esteem and I learned to start hating myself around fifth grade or so. I had girls show interest in me but I would always turn them down because I felt like I never deserved anything good.
I’ve only had two real relationships in my life when I was in college that lasted for about 2 1/2 years which was longer than it needed to last. My girlfriend at the time started dating somebody else without me knowing which explains why she started coming home so late from work. Anyway I had to find out for myself so I did the ultimate dick move and went through her phone while she was taking a shower and this was back in 2009 before smart phones and I found all the incriminating texts.
We split up obviously and I stayed single for about 5 to 6 years. I went on a graduate college I worked for a big company for over four years and the whole time I never had sex I tried going out on dates with girls that I met through online dating but the girls never looked like their photos in real life and they have very boring personalities.
I met another girl online through a non-dating website in 2017 we develop a relationship. A year and a half later she dies in a fatal heroin fentanyl overdose. Apparently she had a history of use that extended back 10 years and never said anything to me about it and kept it hidden from me. There was nothing I could do.
To be honest I feel like there really isn’t someone for everyone. I’ve been cursed with bad looks. I tried online dating many times over and I never get matches and if I do get matches there either bots or fake people or scammers or people that just want validation and then just ghost me. I feel like I am probably the most unlovable and unwanted and the most sexually unattractive person ever. I’ve given up on all of it when I get horny I watch porn and jerk off. Lately it’s been less heterosexual porn and more transsexual porn which I think is pretty weird. But I feel like at my age and with my genetics
it’s just over for me. Does anyone else feel the same way?
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