So, my ex boyfriend (30 m) and I (22 f) broke up around a week and a half ago. I had noticed he's been very depressed since the whole coronavirus situation has broken out. Things have not been particularly easy with us since mid-March when everything started to shut down. He lost interest in a lot of things he normally would really enjoy/seemed pretty on edge with me progressingly as a result. He's been very unhappy with his job for a while now, but he started to not accomplish certain tasks that he needed to do. He got very obsessive over his diet/workout routines, with this being said, he would be very back and forth on his decisions with that (example: we ate burgers and drank wine on a Monday, Tuesday morning he told me he's not drinking/eating red meat anymore, next day he wants to drink/eat red meat). He's been very snappy with me over ridiculous things (we had tacos and rice one night, I asked him what he ate for lunch a few days later, he said rice, i asked what kind of rice, he snapped at me for not remembering he got us dinner).
Anyways, I snapped at him after being so frustrated with him not knowing what he wants after I was planning a dinner for us and he kept finding things wrong with everything I suggested… he panicked and broke things off with me. But the way he broke things off with me was to say "Things haven't been going smoothly with us/it's my fault because I'm not in a good place, I need to work on some things because I'm being very selfish with everyone. I need to take a step back." This left me baffled as to whether we were actually breaking up or taking some space (yes, I know now it was a breakup).
Yesterday, I asked to speak to him because our mutual friend went into the place he works – she told me that she was really concerned about him/that she thought he was very depressed. I went to his place, he opens the door, checks me out and is smiling at me. I sit down with him and start to ask him how he's feeling and he says he's fine, not depressed, he had no idea why our friend was concerned. So I go into the reasons with him, he takes a long time to process, then says "well, I don't think I'm depressed." He starts to note my facial expressions, smiles and says "why did you raise your eyebrows like that?" "why did you half smirk like that?" At this point, I'm pretty convinced he's tripping and can't focus on the conversation very well. He ends up lying to me about several things our friend pointed out/he told the friend/directly opposed what he was telling me.
I told him that I was sorry if I was clingy towards him/I was only trying to help him work through what I thought was depression, he didn't say anything. All of our friends have told me that I wasn't clingy/there's just something vastly wrong with his mental state… I don't think they would have told me that to make me feel better about things, they are the type of friends to call others out if something's not right.
I ended up leaving, understanding it was completely a breakup, but I'm still very confused about this whole situation. Our relationship was really good before this whole coronavirus shutdown happened/we were actually very close friends for several years before this. I don't think he's just a jerk/playboy/whatever, just something happened to change him. My question is to whoever was able to read all of this crap, do you think he actually had/has depression? Was he just trying to get out of the relationship? Or what are your thoughts on the matter? Since he was tripping, should I take anything he said seriously?
submitted by /u/mediocrepersonatbest
[link] [comments]
