When I first joined the online dating world I always had the “Brake” on meaning I was cautious at what I was saying to those girls and how to impress them but now after this bad experience I learned that sometime it’s not me that I am doing something wrong but I need to walk away if I don’t like where the things are going and can’t be a puppy all the time .
The Story : So I matched with this girl and we talked briefly and then she deletes the app. She had her IG account on her profile and I was able to memorize it and I added her on Ig after couple weeks that she deleted the app. She remembered me and started messaging me and immediato flirting saying things like Hi handsome , and what took you so long to find me etc . Started talking about general stuff like movies books food etc and each time I said something she was like OMG you are perfect we are going to be just fine . I was like this girl his too much already why you are saying things like this to a stranger you are barely knowing . I mean if I meet a girl in person and we start talking and I liked her answers I am not going to tell her she is perfect , why expose yourself so soon ? OK then things starts to go bad and she immediately blames me . She is like you always talk about yourself and never ask me anything if you don’t have any questions for me you are free to go . I was shocked because that came from nowhere . The reason she said that is because everytime I answered her question I went into more details . For example movies : instead of just saying I like comedies I went into more Details and was like I like this genre, I don’t care about this genre and some movies I like are ( and listed some titles I liked ) instead she always gave me a one sentence type of reply and she was always changing subject like a speed date . The second we talk about food and then she switch to movies etc and each time I reply I can’t ask her anything because she always changed subjected. At the beginning she told me you can write a lot because that means you wanna talk and then later she told me I only talked about myself . She told me that she doesn’t like to give prolonging answer and she is more direct and then she asked me why I wasn’t making any effort ( I gave longer answers so she could learn more about myself instead of giving a one sentence answer like her I think that’s an effort there to be more open right ?) and asking her questions .
And then finally on third day of chatting things escalated . She said something like :” I don’t give prolonging answers because all the guys that I talked with don’t like prolonging answers and they are assholes “ And I was like is she pretty much insinuating that I am an asshole too and that’s why she is not giving me longer answers because of those experiences ? So I pointed that out and said something like : when you are talking to me don’t assume I am like those guys you have met in your past , be yourself . And also I added something like : “ I want to point out that I was born and raised in different country and came to the USA at age of 17 when I was fully grown up so I may think and express myself in a different way than American guys and sometime I still have to go back between the languages if I don’t understand a sentence so if I make a mistake or what I write disturbs or doesn’t make sense please tell me .
Omg she went nuts . She was like why you bring up the past ? I am not bringing up your past , I am not telling you : Don’t treat me like you treated all those hoes before . And then she said don’t use your culture and linguistic excuses , you are in America now so you are American ! And I am also a mix of ethnicities so don’t bring up your culture in our convo etc .
I should have blocked her there , but like a Puppy and that’s the meaning of this post I sent her a Voice message ( 3 minutes long ) and tried to explain myself more with a calm tone . She then said sometime like ok I understand where you coming from nice to know that you want to get to know me . And then she was like my phone broke so give me some time to reply . I leave her my phone number and told her I’d rather phone call then texting at this point since all those miss understandings and she went berserk again she sent me a message word by word on my Dm ( for each word she pressed sent so I had like 15 notification for something that should be a one sentence long ) and was like didn’t you read my message I just said my phone broke I can I call you duh? And I was like goodnight I meant when you have it back we can talk .
I don’t hit her up then after two days I post a pic on my IG and on my stories she watches my story she liked my pic and then she unfollowed me . I then go back to her dm and I pretty much told her : sorry if you didn’t understand me thank you though for letting me know where I should improve wish you the vest good bye ( she never replied but she saw the message )
Ok guys sorry for the long story , but pretty much what I learned and I want you guys to learn is this . Don’t let anyone destroy you and your personality . Even if she is hot and she compliments you don’t fall in the trap you actually have to start to know this person well because they can change in two seconds . Don’t be a puppy always be yourself even if she is the girl of your dreams . Know what you want know your standards and pursue them don’t go below your standards because you want to please someone else , of course this message is also for the girls too . Take care
submitted by /u/rickyrudd7
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