It’s just that I feel so vulnerable and I hate it. I hate the thought of making her uncomfortable. I hate the thought of asking someone out so much that I’ve been uncomfortable with myself for weeks. I spend hours everyday wanting to escape my own skin. I feel ashamed of letting her know that I find her attractive. I feel ashamed to let her know that I want to spend time with her.
I don’t even have to do it in person. In fact, asking her out in person is not an option at all. I’ll literally never see her again in my life if I don’t ask her. We don’t even talk anymore. So there should be no fear of rejection right? But no, I feel completely naked and exposed. I feel embarrassed to tell her anything at this point. I don’t even feel like I’m worth her time.
I’ve had this message drafted for almost 2 months; I’ve been tweaking it everyday. But i can never bring myself to send it. I was so close to sending it on Sunday because I was able to get a little drunk, but I opted out because it was 1:00 am. It’s not some sort of love confession where I’m writing her a novel of my feelings. It’s literally just three sentences telling her that I enjoyed talking to her and that I’d like to get to know her better.
Does anybody feel this way? How do I get over this? This stems from my own self loathing but this is also one of the things that I loathe about myself.
submitted by /u/ihavenothingg
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