I'm fairly certain I've experienced the worst date of my life (hopefully) recently and I figured I would share with all you lovely folks in case you're feeling a little depressed about your own dating plights. So take your potty break now because this is a bit of a read, unless you're already browsing reddit on the toilet, then you're solid.
I (27F) met this girl(27F) on Hinge a little after COVID-19 quarantines started happening. We kept in touch online but I never really felt a strong connection being made. I figured it was because we were online and I am definitely a physical person so I needed that interaction to gain any sort of spark. Well three weeks ago we finally decide to meet up and go on a hiking date. Yay! (Or so I thought…) The night before we start chit chatting and she says something that, to put bluntly, was dumb as fuck. We had never really broached any heavy/critical thinking topics before so it was a bit of a disappointing find but I thought she was really nice and should still give her a chance. The date is still on, but she asked if she could bring a friend. I said, sure! This was a perfect way to take some of the pressure off as I had cooled down A LOT towards her after the conversation.
8 AM comes up the next morning, and her friend is an almost 50 year old man, he seemed nice enough but I found it odd that this is the friend she wanted to bring on our date. I should have bounced once I had the weird vibe but this was my first mistake. They picked me up in his car to go on this hike that is about 15 minutes away from my house. We are in the car and my date is silent the entire way aside from the random comments. This man is talking the ENTIRE TIME, about politics and trying to "educate" us. I'm already pretty annoyed by this point, especially because half of the shit he was saying was incorrect. We get to the hike and start on our walk but about 10 minutes in my date says we need to turn back as she needs to use the restroom. So we hop back in the car and find the nearest grocery store. She is in the bathroom for a good 15-20 minutes, and the entire time this man decides to word vomit on me and tell me about how his ex-wife is divorcing her next husband and this man feels like it's HIS fault because he didn't try harder in his marriage???
My date finally comes out and we head back to the hike, it turns out she decided black coffee and burger king was a good breakfast before a 2 hour hike with no bathrooms. We made it about 20 minutes into the hike this time before she needs us to turn around and head back to the bathroom. This time she makes us walk in front of her…we get in the car and well, there's a pretty foul odor. The windows are rolled down and we make it to the grocery store bathroom once again. This time the girl is in there for about 45 minutes. I politely text her to see if she needs anything and she comes out, her pants and shirt soaking wet. This girl shit herself on a date, I felt so awful for her. I assured her that I was a mother and shit happens (heh) and that I was sorry this happened to her. I think the date is over, but NO! She says after all that she is actually hungry and would love to buy her friend and me lunch for all the trouble. I'm too polite to grab an Uber and bounce, this was my second mistake.
I asked if she wanted to at least stop at another store for a change of clothes, but the friend interjects and says, "No! I'll take you (the date) home real quick and we'll be on our way." Ya'll, her house was 30 minutes away in the opposite direction of my house. To my dismay, 15 minutes on the freeway in, the friend says, "OMG, we're running out of gas I have to stop somewhere!" He has a CNG fuel vehicle, you can't pump gas at a regular gas station, so he took us another 15 minutes down the freeway in the wrong direction. By this time, it's 11:15 am and I suggest we call it quits as I had to be home by 12:00 pm. My date decides to just skip the change of clothes to take me somewhere near my house to eat. She wants POKI of all things. Why would someone want raw fish after shitting themselves from an upset stomach. Why, reddit, why?!
I direct them to the nearest poki places around my house which are both closed (Thank the gods). We end up at a sandwich shop where we thankfully sit outside and I make sure to sit upwind from my date. They decide to start discussing politics. Let me tell you, i'm by no means a political scientist but damn. I think the American left/right sides would band together on this discussion to say it was the most inaccurate depiction of Black people and Black Lives Matters. We finish our meal and they drop me off finally, around 12:30 pm. Upon arrival of my house, my date says, "That was fine! We should try for another hike next week, I promise I won't eat burger king before we go! Haha"…
I feel like there is a lost of "Top Worst Things That Can Happen on a Date". 1) Getting murdered and 2) Shitting yourself, i'm sure there's others but i'm too traumatized to think of anything else. So there you have it, r/dating, just remember that things could always get worse, and worse, and worse…
TLDR: Spent 4.5 hours on a date where my date brought a weird and idiotic man with us, my date shit themself, and kept things going way longer than anyone should have.
submitted by /u/captaintiggoes
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