I am having an argument with my friend (who is female [24], I am male [25]) about this. Essentially, I have dated girls in the past and after having been on a multiple dates with them, had sex one or two times, I have opened the conversation up about what is they like in the bedroom, because everyone is different and I wanted to understand how to best meet each others needs, and in my experience it made us both more comfortable around talking about with each other gives us a great opportunity to learn, we had better sex, it also let’s them know I am interested in their needs not just my own.

However, my friend believes that the guy should already know what to do and talking about it is awkward and ruins it the “spontaneity” of it all. Just to clarify, I am not suggesting that just before sex commences that a lengthy discussion is had about exactly what they want, with step by step instructions, as I know that would ruin the moment. It is more a chill and relaxed conversation to be had when you both comfortable, cuddling or whatever.

This all started because her friend is married with a person they’ve been with for 6 years and their sex is bad, and they’ve never spoken about it. I said this could have maybe been avoided had they taken this approach. Now 6 years of bad sex has gone by and that is very hard to talk about.

What do you think?