After about a year of flirtiness and tension between us, I finally went home with Jeremy after a little get together. We hookedup multiple times. Jeremy said things like how he was glad we were hooking up and how there was so much sexual tension between us.

However, I guess I felt a little weird. In the middle of the night i had to go to the bathroom. since he had roommates, i was putting on my clothing. Jeremy woke up and concerned, asked where I was going. I think he thought I was going to leave. I told him i’m going to the bathroom. Then we went to sleep and spooned.

I woke up rather early, so I crawled over him and started getting fully dressed. I sort of just felt weird, and I didn’t know what to do. I knew that this was not the best way to start things. I just felt awkward, so when I was getting dressed he woke up. I asked him for directions, which he gave me, and then i left. I guess it may have looked like i ran out of there in a hurry. I even do that sort of thing in normal circumstances. I’m not really good about like proper goodbyes. I attribute it to my social awkwardness.

But i felt good that morning. I enjoyed the time we had. but then a few hours later I got a text from Jeremy saying he had fun but likes someone else. I immediately felt down. Not depressed, just like numb or empty, but sad. Like, wow, that was fast.

at the time I accepted it at face value. I didn’t really react. I was just like ok. But now I am wondering if it’s possible I was incredibly rude. For instance he thought i was going to run out in the middle of the night and i sort of ran out in the morning. I’m a little slow in realizing how my behavior affects others. I was too busy thinking, “ouch, that was harsh” in reaction to his text.

but anyways, is it worth speculating? Is it possible he was just reacting to how I acted? or should I just assume he’s telling the truth (of him simply being not interested). I am realizing that he was the one saying things all night like how he’s glad we were hooking up and how he’s attracted to me and stuff, and I basically didn’t say anything like that. he was doing all the talking. If this is because of me being skittish, man i feel like I blew it because i really liked him. 🙁 but if he’s really not interested, then i guess it’s fine because then i can move on… but what should I do? should i findout? or just assume he was being honest?