I have been dating somebody since January, it was so great at the beginning, and I really like him. I was honest about wanting a relationship/looking for something long term on date three. He seemed to be okay with it so we kept dating.
Come time for the commitment talk, he wanted time, I gave it to him. He seemed confused and I get that sometimes people need more time. But after a couple of conversations, his confusion wasn’t about me, it was about wanting to be in a relationship at all. I told him to start being proactive about it, and he did.
Today, after consideration he wanted to stop seeing each other. I feel so saddened, I thought we had a connection. Though I agreed with the decision, and if he hadn’t reached it, I would have walked away myself. But it really sucks.
What sucks more and its something he failed to tell me is that his “relationship that ended badly” happened only a couple of months before meeting me. And ending badly meant that the ex that he lived with him destroyed his things, locked him out and his brother had to fly in to help him with it all.
I never stood a chance. I could’ve been perfect and that kind of experience would have left him not ready for more that soon.
Had he proactively thought about this, had more self reflection and self awareness, the hurt I am feeling could have been avoided. I don’t think it was intentional, I do think that it hurt could have been avoided entirely.
So here is me venting and telling everyone out there, that please be proactive, because the person you are dating has feelings too.
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