Hi there, I am F(28), and currently dating my bf (32) for about 9 years.

May I get your thoughts on this?

My BF goes through a “depressing” state every now and then and now he is at it again.

During this phase, what will happen is:

He sleeps alot, and when I say alot, I mean ALOT. He makes empty promises like telling me he’d come over to my place, but he will feel too tired to do so and end up napping/sleeping instead. He is always uninspired, we used to work out together and currently due to quarantine life, we only meet up few times every week. I still do my work outs at home, but he has almost stopped working out at all (he probably only works out once every 1 or 2 weeks) and doesn’t have self motivation etc. He is always bored, doesn’t have anything on schedule and is always sleeps his time away. When we meet, he is always lethargic. When we decide to go for a jog, he would back out last minute. When I wake him up from his nap (he naps about 3-4 hours, or it can go as long as 5-7 hours. There is 24hours in a day but he would be sleeping about 16-18 hours a day. He would get very grumpy at times. I do believe this change of behaviour is due to him not having any goals in life. He would whine daily about his work. It happens once in a while, but I am still not used to this.

Because he is always sleep, I am always unable to reach out to him. So this has been going on for 2 weeks. I feel my emotional needs are not met. I would call or message him how I feel about his current sleeping habit and how it has affected our relationship. I believe he is getting extremely annoyed with me for telling him that I care about his health and I don’t want him to miss his meals, wake up and sleep in a proper timing.

For now he hasn’t contacted me. I don’t even know what is going on. I tried calling him earlier but he rejected my call.

P.S/ I have spammed text him about my feelings and called him a few times, he has went MIA on me and have not spoken to me. He usually don’t MIA unless we got into a big fight or I hurt his feelings. But this did not happen, all I did was tried to call and wake him up and reminded him to take his dinner (as he was supposed to be working from home). He didn’t respond afterwards and I sent him many messages to express my thoughts on feelings on how this is affecting us greatly.

When we are not in this phase, he is a sweet, supportive and encouraging person towards me. I care for him alot, and do treasure him because he is a person who has accepted my abusive temper/behaviour and was there for me when I needed and wanted to change for him. We have went through alot of crazy things together. I will not take away his credit of being a very caring boyfriend. However, during this phase, he becomes a selfish, inconsiderate and impatient person. I do feel hurt/affected by his behaviour and attitude. I am also worried about his health.

I thought of breaking up with him, because sometimes he shows he is unable to take care of himself, and how can i expect him to take care of me?

Sorry for the extremely long rant, I just don’t know what to do! 🙁