So I figure I make my response into a new post. I’ve come across like a handful in the minutes I’ve been here that essentially say “we’ve spoke everyday, things were great, but nowadays things seem boring, how do I fix this”.

Here is my advice. Let me know yours and your thoughts.

I think the issue is more about you both investing in each other too much especially, too early and less about not being interesting. Give space, even when you feel the urge to talk like everyday, wait a day here, talk, another wait there, 2 days speaking, a day not, two days not. If you always reply fast, think about whether or not you’re dropping “everything” for this person, and remember that sometimes it’s okay to continue doing what you’re doing and reply a bit later. An hour later, two, whatever necessary, and switch that up too. Be careful to not make things sooooo predictable, to not always prioritize them, and also be aware of the context! For example don’t go off for days, hours, etc., not talking when s/he’s talking about a sensitive subject like if s/he found out her/his grandma is sick or something. Those times are the times that’s best to invest a bit more though still careful not to do too much even then. Even when living together (supposing it isn’t corona time) and in a serious relationship, when at home together talk normally as necessary. Though don’t become couch potatoes, either. Get out and about together. Being interesting is a process, it takes work, it’s like a phone battery that you can’t use while charging, you need time to recharge it. Which means some time away from each other doing your own things, following your passions. Taking time to get in touch with the “me, myself, and I”.

I think becoming overly dependent on each other is also part of the reason why some feel too hurt when breakups happen, that they feel they can not face singlehood again. Even though they probably were single for months or years and were doing just fine. Though because they let themselves forget to take time for themselves they forget their power. And at times not taking time for yourselves can actually be what breaks y’all or puts you on a rocky journey. I’m not saying to play games. Though (I’m saying this from a kind place) don’t forget to have a life, of your own.