Author Archive: /u/SunnyBunnyBunBun

How do you all *True singles* deal with the loneliness? (Especially in Quarantine)

I was already lonely before quarantine. Luckily, like all reddit loves to suggest as the end-all-be-all, I’ve been “working on myself” for several years now. I have several regular hobbies I’m deeply passionate about. They keep me busy. I’m very active. I enjoy my solitude and have beautiful days entirely on my own. I take myself out on dates. In general, I’d say I’m happy.

But. We are social animals. We weren’t meant to be alone. I’m a young professional and my family lives 3,000 miles away. I have no family in this town. I live alone. I have one good friend in my town but I haven’t seen him since quarantine.

Most importantly, I miss physical affection. I get some physical touch through dates, casual dating that lasts 2-3 meetings, but I miss coming home to someone who KNOWS me. Someone whom you don’t have to repeat the same story over again. Someone who was there last week and the week before and the week before and the week before… Consistency and intimacy. History of mutual support.

As it is, most days I speak to no one in person. I’m actually very friendly and social but with the quarantine meeting new people and hanging out is out of bounds. For other singles that are TRULY alone like me (family other side of the country, no roommates, no real close friends) how do you deal with it? How do you deal with it when it’s been months? Years? I feel I’m not crazy (or desperate) to want physical touch, or affection, or even interaction.

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I feel so STUPID for falling for someone again… only to get played and lied to AGAIN (OLD rant)

OLD. He was 35M, I’m 30F. I figured because he was older maybe he was a bit more mature. He said he was looking for something serious.

First few weeks, we hung out a lot. He tells me I’m the most beautiful woman he’s ever dated. He tells me he’s excited for me to meet his family. They’d love me, he assures me.

I, the Idiot, am excited. I, the Idiot, am hearing wedding bells in my ears.

I, the Idiot, have heard too many times about women “not doing enough.” So I tried to do enough. I complimented him often. I’d come over his place with a warm home-cooked meal. We took turns planning dates so he could see I was just as interested. He had just bought a house so I bought him a special home-warming present. Nothing expensive, but custom-made and very thoughtful.

Then something changed. It was subtle, but I, having been ghosted too many times, can pick up on it. He’s no longer setting dates. So I call him out on it, ask him if he’s no longer interested. Ask him to please be upfront. “That’s not it at all” he assures me. Plus, “I’d never ghost you. I’ve never ghosted anyone. Believe me if this is ever over, I’ll let you know. I wouldn’t want to waste you or anyone’s time.”

Guess what he did?

*poof*

I, the Idiot, am left with a stupid custom-made gift I had made for his new house. Small, but thoughtful, an ugly reminder of how much I TRY, how much i WANT to find somebody, how much im WILLING to compromise, and meet you in the middle. How much of MYSELF am willing to put forward.

But he lied to me and didn’t care. Didn’t even bother with a good bye conversation. Only a month of dating, but still.

And so I add another streak to the dozens.

How many more heartbreaks will it take? Or am i destined to live the rest of my days with health sure, with friends, sure, with a rewarding career sure, but alone? Just very very alone.

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