I do not know how else my life can improve from this point. As i stated in the title i feel as if my life is over and i don’t feel like i can cope with it anymore.

Nobody loves me, i feel like thats important to get right out of the way, this includes my parents. anytime i hear anything from my parents its about how grateful i should be that they raised me, when they feel like lecturing me about how im single (even letting me know that i need to take what i can get because i am a 2/10), or when they ask me for money or favors. i always oblige because no matter how putrid they act towards me its most likely the most anyone is going to talk to me for that day. my friends all treat me as disposable, even the people i consider my best friends dont value me. they invite me places when they want a funny guy around but people dont care about me beyond what i can provide for them.

As you have probably assumed, that also means that girls dont want to be with me. ive tried everything you can imagine to make myself worthy of some girls time. I’ve lost over 80 pounds, bought a car, bought new clothes, i go to college (for a stupid fucking history degree), ive maintained at a minimum one job for almost a year, im great socially and im not just saying that. while they may not give a fuck if i wake up tomorrow, i have tons of friends that invite me out because i always keep the group laughing about something and i listen to their problems and try to help. despite all of this that i have worked towards i am still not enough, i constantly put myself out there too. I’ve asked out friends of mine (two of whom stood me up), I’ve been on tinder, bumble, and OkCupid since November and they have accumulated a whopping 0 dates. id say I’ve matched with 12 people total, only two of them responding and only one of them talking to me for more than a day. however she informed me recently that she found someone else, so i cant imagine i could consider that a victory. im pathetic when it comes to girls, i feel like i do a good job of hiding it to people in my real life but i really dont care about who it is that decides to settle for me. It could be one of those situations where she forces me to delete all of my social media, sell all of my things, give up any passions that i have, so that i could be with them, and the pathetic part is i would 110% do it. i have never gotten to feel any kind of love before and id give up anything for it.

I just hate myself more than I know how to convey in a post like this. I cant stand to look in the mirror because it ruins my day, so most days I dont. I just simply cant believe that im so ugly that even after all the work and effort that ive put in that im still just a 2/10. I hate that my only passion in this world had to be something as worthless as history. im not going to be a teacher so what am i going to do with it? work at a museum for 10 dollars an hour? im sure that definitely makes me worth someones while to settle for.

i just feel like i have no future, like this is it for me. after everything ive done i am still not lovable, i cant change the fact that im so fucking ugly that i cant look in the mirror without ruining my day, im still pursuing a garbage degree all because its my only passion. I feel like ive accomplished everything that is possible for someone like me. I dont know how to convince myself that my life is worth living, because how can it be? i cant get a fulfilling job with my degree, i cant have a partner to go through life with because on top of that degree im also fucking ugly, i cant even look back on when i was younger to think about how much love i experienced as a child because i was never good enough.

id appreciate any advice you can give me, my situation seems pretty over to me but im open to ideas.