This pandemic has really highlighted the fact that people out there are so full of shit when it comes to what they say they want vs. how they actually behave. This week, I cleared out a graveyard of about 40 dead-end matches on Hinge — mostly of those who ghosted inexplicably after a fully-invested conversation. There have been so many people on dating apps telling me how they're trying to make the best out of this tough situation by having intentional connections and how tired they are of getting ghosted, but if these same people can't even refrain from ghosting when they're stuck at home, then what does that honestly say about our current dating culture altogether?
I'm a guy, but I've also heard some pretty awful stories from female friends about their terrible experiences. One of my friends just spent the last five weeks messaging and video calling a guy who she said was a really promising match, and she really liked. Yesterday, the guy messages her to tell her that he hooked up with a close longtime friend, they had a pregnancy scare, and now he and this woman have developed feelings for one another so he's breaking things off with my friend after being led on. That is some sociopathic stuff right there.
I don't really know what to do at this stage other than to stop believing anyone out there actually wants a real relationship, because none of the evidence I have in front of me with my own experiences of dating before this pandemic as well as during this pandemic tells me that my time and attention is being considered equally to theirs, and that the effort is reciprocated. Other people's experiences don't make me feel better as well. I knew our current dating culture was already in a grim place, but this pandemic has highlighted really how bad it is.
It's starting to make more and more sense to just let go of the idea of seeking out a relationship with long term potential, and to approach it from the angle of only making enough effort for something respectfully temporary/a hookup, because at least that resolve's one part of the equation in a need for intimacy without getting my feelings hurt and my outlook on life dragged down.
That's how the pandemic has changed my perspective. Anyone else feel like it has changed theirs as well?
submitted by /u/blueandblackandblue
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